Advocacy & Support for

Borderline Personality Disorder
& Complex Trauma

A carer responds to a number of frequently asked questions in this series of short videos

There are many skills that families can learn that will help you to relate to and support someone with BPD. These may seem complex at first – like a muscle we haven’t used before we become stronger and the skills becomes easier with practise. We suggest you practise these skills with other friends/colleagues first to develop some confidence.

These are:

Radical Acceptance



Boundaries / Limits



Radical Acceptance

Peer Guided DBT lessons - Radical Acceptance (NB This clips talks about the DBT skills of radical acceptance for people experiencing distress - it is not specific for family/friends)

MARSHA LINEHAN - How She Learned Radical Acceptance

Radical Acceptance: a short video by Dr. Rebecca Kason, Koch Center therapist.


Keys to Validation: Communicating with someone with intense emotions Written by Catherine Humenuk MSW, LCSW, C-DBT 

Understanding Validation: A Way to Communicate Acceptance

What is emotional invalidation?

Understanding Validation in Families: Dr Alan  Fruzzetti.

This series of four validation sessions is presented by Dr Alan Fruzzetti and Dr Karyn Hall.  Recorded at the Chicago Validation Conference 2014 - Video 1 - Video 2 - Video 3 - Video 4

37 Validating Statements (A Quick Cheat Sheet for When You Are Stuck)

Validation Making Sense of the Emotional Turmoil in Borderline Personality Disorder

Dr. Galen reviews the critically important skill of validation. She discusses the ways in which you can either begin or continue to practice the skill of validation with those in your life, particularly those diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. (McLean Hospital)

An Open Discussion on Validation

In the previous webinar Dr. Galen discussed the critically important skill of validation. In this webinar, Dr. Galen answers questions from participants about challenges that they have experienced when trying to use validation. (McLean Hospital)

Empathy 101 Phil Dun-empa-phy

Dr Fruzzetti At Mclean Oct 28 2016 NEA BPD

Being Mindful of Emotion to Validate Self and Other - Kelly Koerner, PhD

Why provide Validation in DBT - Dr. Charles Swenson

Discusses 'validating the valid' and 'self-validation'


Brené Brown on Boundaries 

Why Do We Need to Set Functional Boundaries?

Self Validation and Observing Limits

Setting Boundaries: Lived Experience Perspective

Fear Gets in the Way! Understanding how to use the Principles of Behaviour to Set Effective Limits


Free digital toolkit to support people bereaved by suicide.  

Being bereaved by suicide has a profound impact on surrounding family and friends, as well as the communities they live and work in.

South Eastern Melbourne Primary Health Network (Melbourne) has developed a postvention toolkit providing guidance and tips to help individuals, family, educators, workplaces, first responders and health professionals navigate the challenges of suicide-related grief and loss in safe and supportive environments.

It comprises a main booklet, plus four supplementary booklets which can be used independently to address the needs of specific groups, including children. With the right knowledge and skills, you can feel more comfortable and confident in supporting someone bereaved by suicide and sudden loss.

NB Not specific for BPD and some of the contact details may not be relevant for your area. 


What not to do if a child is self harming

This video provides advice and ideas for concerned parents, teachers or other adults who want to know what they should and should not say and do if a child or young person discloses that they have been self-harming. 

Brené Brown on Empathy 

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities. 

Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability 

Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity

Brené Brown on Blame - Brené considers why we blame others, how it sabotages our relationships, and why we desperately need to move beyond this toxic behaviour.

Open Your Mind Before You Open Your Mouth

A series of videos demonstrating how Dialectical Behavioural Therapy helps patients and their families.

McLean Hospital Borderline Personality Disorder Family and Consumer Education Initiative YouTube Channel - numerous presentations including:

How and When to Give Back Responsibility to a Child or Loved One When There are Safety Concerns  

Parents often find it hard to negotiate how much responsibility they should accept vs. how much responsibility their child should accept when navigating both large and day to day decisions. This can be particularly challenging when there is a high level of distress and an accompanying worry about how that level of stress or dysregulation may affect the child’s ability to make good decisions and or stay safe.

Connecting with families: What Carers Need to Know: Deb Dick

Validating for carers and really good one for extended family and friends to understand the family dynamic

'Connecting with families - what carers need to know': Judy Burke

Connecting with families: What Carers Need to Know: Q&A with Judy & Deb

'The experience of families affected by another’s substance use: An overview of treatments'  This webinar provides an overview on the experience of families affected by another’s alcohol or other drug use, including a brief history of how families have been conceptualised within the addiction field, their involvement in their loved one’s treatment, and the impacts on the family themselves.

A Practical Skill for Defusing Anger with Marsha Linehan

 Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder: A Model of Emotion Regulation